(OK, I made that up.)
The Four Phases of Oktoberfest*
You’ve had your first refreshing sip of ice-cold beer and are prepared to enjoy yourself but several complete strangers are looking at you as if they’ve known you forever and really like you and it’s just a little embarrassing. So you watch the band and look at the ceiling and gulp beer whenever anyone catches your eye, including your boss who's at the next table three sheets to the wind.
You’ve finished your first beer and started on a second when it hits you that we are all connected. You start waving excitedly and blowing kisses to people at other tables and most of them wave and blow kisses back, except that guy two tables over who just threw up into his beer. This is the best phase to be in when you have to go to the bathroom because the deep, genuine love you feel for everyone around you allows you to glide past people and obstacles without getting yelled at or arrested. All you have to do is go to the front of the line, put your arms around the person you displaced - as long as they don't work with you - and tell them you love them... right before you dart into the bathroom and lock the door. When you come out they probably won’t be there anymore and even if they are, chances are that they will back away from you nervously so you're home free.
Phase III: I understand everything now
Phase IV: It's all good
*There are actually 5 phases but Phase 5 happens the next day and isn’t nearly so nice as the other phases. I won’t say much about Phase V, except that it is a lot less full of universal love, omniscience and Fischsemmel than the previous phases.
**It's better than it sounds.
Euro Party Chick!
ReplyDeleteThank you, hrmexploer! Dave, if only that were true...
ReplyDeleteWow! What fun! Great one!
ReplyDeleteWow...looks like you really enjoyed it...love the piccy with the huge beer glass!
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